Gotta Catch Em All!
Greetings people.
Now I'm a little bit annoyed. Why? Because every other day it seems, I get emailed concerning Jocflock. Sometimes by the well-meaning. Sometimes by morons. So pay attention now. This is my all-inclusive, comprehensive response to any such email that I receive from this point henceforth. So read up. Because I'm not answering anymore emails. I'm sorry if you get offended, but hey, it's called "tough love".
1-Everybody remember BlackPlanet.com? Or MiGente? For those unfamiliar [or more likely, beyond the 30-45 age bracket], these were pre-Facebook, pre-Myspace, hell, pre-FRIENDSTER social networks which catered to the African/Caribbean-American and Hispanic communities, respectively. Were other ethnicities welcome to join? Sure. But the point was--as stated, oddly enough, right there in the name--that their purpose was to cater to those specific communities. THAT was their target audience.
Now enter "Jocflock". I'm reasonably sure that by now everyone knows what a "JOC" is.
Jocflock was created as a safehaven for those JOCs who have been harrassed, interrogated, or given the run around on other Jewish dating sites by either site moderators or users. It is a place where JOCs can put up their profile pictures without apprehension and where they can meet other JOCs.
However, I'm not particularly a segregationist. So please, stop sending me emails asking if non-JOCs can join the site. Just like BlackPlanet, MiGente, and Obama, yes you can. But equally, don't send me emails when you're shocked to find that--*gasp*--Jocflock is geared to cater to, shock of shocks, JOCs.
"Why are there no European ethnicities in the list?"
Because, again, this is JOCflock. There ARE no European JOC ethnicities. But feel free to indicate such in your profile and to peruse the site as much as anyone else.
"But what about us who are Jewish and white?"
Although, admittedly, it is beyond me why--with JewishSingles, JDate, Supertova, Frumster, FutureSimchas, SawYouAtSinai, JewishMatches, JWed, JPeopleMeet, JSoulmates, JewishCafe, JRetroMatch, DatingJewishNow, SingleJew, Orthodate, DosiDate, Bitachon, Shidduchim and eBashert--you need to come all the way to this corner of the sandbox to play on the ONE dating site for Jews of Color, let me just reiterate:
Read the name.
That is my target audience. That is the group who, thus far, has not been attended to. That is my primary focus. After all, you don't go to a Chinese restaurant and ask "What about if I want Italian food", right? It's a CHINESE restaurant. Guess what they serve. Hint: it's right there in the name. Instead of expending all this energy suggesting I cater my one site to YOU, perhaps you should bombard the plethora of "standard" Jewish dating sites to be more welcoming and inclusive and accessible to people like ME. Then that way my site won't even have to exist, would it?
"But what if skin color doesn't matter to me?"
Excellent! Congratulations and welcome to the human race. We're glad to have you. If those are your actual non-illicit intentions, then fantastic and welcome aboard. Although I WOULD like to point out that the JOCs on Jocflock are very often looking for another JOC. If they aren't, then if you just took two seconds to use the Advanced Search options on ANY of the regular sites I just named above, you'd find their profile there. Because many DO have a profile there. Some have been there for years.
Although, more often than not, people mosey on by Jocflock looking for something exotic to whet their palate. I've deleted/declined several non-JOC profiles so far. One was joining for "cultural curiosity". Another, to find "someone sensual to explore with". As an example for the class, let's take a look at this video here.
Now about two minutes in, the proud husband says "I read about the Jews of Kaifeng and I always wanted one."
Huh??
"WANTED one?"
And this is why Jocflock holds such tight parameters. Because Kaifeng Jews are not fucking Pokemon to collect, and Jews of Color are not decorative ornaments that you stumble upon whilst leafing through the latest Sears catalog next to the lawn furniture as you wonder if you can ever manage to fit one into your budget because they'd look oh so nice on your arm. Or wrapped in those red satin sheets you picked out on page 14.
We are not "cultural curiosities" or "sensual" fetishes to "explore".
So feel free to join Jocflock. Again, it's not a separatist space. But it is OUR space. We invite you in, but the rules are OURS.
That is all.
But how cool was it when that Chinese girl busted out in fluent Israeli accented Hebrew?? Awesomeness.
Now I'm a little bit annoyed. Why? Because every other day it seems, I get emailed concerning Jocflock. Sometimes by the well-meaning. Sometimes by morons. So pay attention now. This is my all-inclusive, comprehensive response to any such email that I receive from this point henceforth. So read up. Because I'm not answering anymore emails. I'm sorry if you get offended, but hey, it's called "tough love".
1-Everybody remember BlackPlanet.com? Or MiGente? For those unfamiliar [or more likely, beyond the 30-45 age bracket], these were pre-Facebook, pre-Myspace, hell, pre-FRIENDSTER social networks which catered to the African/Caribbean-American and Hispanic communities, respectively. Were other ethnicities welcome to join? Sure. But the point was--as stated, oddly enough, right there in the name--that their purpose was to cater to those specific communities. THAT was their target audience.
Now enter "Jocflock". I'm reasonably sure that by now everyone knows what a "JOC" is.
Jocflock was created as a safehaven for those JOCs who have been harrassed, interrogated, or given the run around on other Jewish dating sites by either site moderators or users. It is a place where JOCs can put up their profile pictures without apprehension and where they can meet other JOCs.
However, I'm not particularly a segregationist. So please, stop sending me emails asking if non-JOCs can join the site. Just like BlackPlanet, MiGente, and Obama, yes you can. But equally, don't send me emails when you're shocked to find that--*gasp*--Jocflock is geared to cater to, shock of shocks, JOCs.
"Why are there no European ethnicities in the list?"
Because, again, this is JOCflock. There ARE no European JOC ethnicities. But feel free to indicate such in your profile and to peruse the site as much as anyone else.
"But what about us who are Jewish and white?"
Although, admittedly, it is beyond me why--with JewishSingles, JDate, Supertova, Frumster, FutureSimchas, SawYouAtSinai, JewishMatches, JWed, JPeopleMeet, JSoulmates, JewishCafe, JRetroMatch, DatingJewishNow, SingleJew, Orthodate, DosiDate, Bitachon, Shidduchim and eBashert--you need to come all the way to this corner of the sandbox to play on the ONE dating site for Jews of Color, let me just reiterate:
Read the name.
That is my target audience. That is the group who, thus far, has not been attended to. That is my primary focus. After all, you don't go to a Chinese restaurant and ask "What about if I want Italian food", right? It's a CHINESE restaurant. Guess what they serve. Hint: it's right there in the name. Instead of expending all this energy suggesting I cater my one site to YOU, perhaps you should bombard the plethora of "standard" Jewish dating sites to be more welcoming and inclusive and accessible to people like ME. Then that way my site won't even have to exist, would it?
"But what if skin color doesn't matter to me?"
Excellent! Congratulations and welcome to the human race. We're glad to have you. If those are your actual non-illicit intentions, then fantastic and welcome aboard. Although I WOULD like to point out that the JOCs on Jocflock are very often looking for another JOC. If they aren't, then if you just took two seconds to use the Advanced Search options on ANY of the regular sites I just named above, you'd find their profile there. Because many DO have a profile there. Some have been there for years.
Although, more often than not, people mosey on by Jocflock looking for something exotic to whet their palate. I've deleted/declined several non-JOC profiles so far. One was joining for "cultural curiosity". Another, to find "someone sensual to explore with". As an example for the class, let's take a look at this video here.
Now about two minutes in, the proud husband says "I read about the Jews of Kaifeng and I always wanted one."
Huh??
"WANTED one?"
And this is why Jocflock holds such tight parameters. Because Kaifeng Jews are not fucking Pokemon to collect, and Jews of Color are not decorative ornaments that you stumble upon whilst leafing through the latest Sears catalog next to the lawn furniture as you wonder if you can ever manage to fit one into your budget because they'd look oh so nice on your arm. Or wrapped in those red satin sheets you picked out on page 14.
We are not "cultural curiosities" or "sensual" fetishes to "explore".
So feel free to join Jocflock. Again, it's not a separatist space. But it is OUR space. We invite you in, but the rules are OURS.
That is all.
But how cool was it when that Chinese girl busted out in fluent Israeli accented Hebrew?? Awesomeness.
–MaNishtana
Comment
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Comment by Chava Yocheved on November 18, 2010 at 1:55pm -
..Wow!! I thought it was an amazing video until the chatan made that very strange comment at the end. (I spotted a friend of mine in there!)
But.. He did marry her - it's not just some fling after all. Maybe he's really more attracted to Chinese women. Is that terrible? I don't know.
(And to Batsheva a few comments away - I butcher Hebrew all the time! How else will I learn?? Although, haha, I'm not butchering it on TV)
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Comment by Asher Joy on September 18, 2010 at 5:56pm
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Well said. Wish my ex - girlfriend (an Israeli) had this common sense. Wish I'd had a greater array to choose from. Well said.
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Comment by Aliza Hausman on September 16, 2010 at 2:38am -
Freaking awesome post. AWESOME.
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Comment by Cordula on September 15, 2010 at 12:40am -
Hahahahaha!!!!! I'm so glad I'm married. :| Sad you have to say it, but I love it when you do! You crack me up.
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Comment by yona Avraham on September 14, 2010 at 2:04am -
כל הכבוד שת
I can't tell you how proud I am that you told it like it was and is!I am a 50 something AA Jew who has never married because I never found anyone who fit the basic requirements that I insisted on.I wanted an AA Jew who was Shomrei mitzvot and wanted or was already living in Israel.
I was 26 when I finished my giur in Jerusalem and waited with the patience of Job for Shiduchim that never came.Or the few that were proposed were all Ba'alay Mum(if you know what I'm talking about).I was constantly told to return to Los Angeles because it was more liberal there,so after 6 years in Jerusalem I returned.
What did I find in Los Angeles?A thriving and vibrant Orthodox Jewish community with something for everyone.Every Shabbat and Yom Tov I went from Synagogue to Synagogue,met a lot of people and enjoyed myself,but ended up more often than not in a predominately Ba'alay Tshuva community that was hellbent on fitting in.A Black woman does not fit in even if I had met someone who fit 2 out of my three requirements.There were a few Black males who were Orthodox and they were married to Ashkenaziot. I went to a Sephardi Beit Knesset for a straight year and never was invited for a Shabbat lunch.The first time I took an AA Jewish male friend to the same synagogue,he received an Aliyah and several Shabbat invitations!.Little did they know that he was a Conservative convert in the process of an Orthodox conversion who was very upset that he had been offered the Aliyah,but was too embarrassed to decline.
By 40 I'd given up,but I promised myself that whenever I met an AA Jewish woman I would tell her to not do as I had done and wait for others to make a Shidduch,but if they wanted a Bayit Ne'eman B'Israel to pursue it with all they've got in every way they can.
So a Jew like me who didn't have the option of a JOC flock really cheers you on and wonders why a non-Joc would be trolling the site.
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Comment by Batsheva Peres on September 13, 2010 at 11:06am -
It's shameful that people want to join the site out of curiosity or to 'explore', and that guy on the video... I'm praying that it was a horrible translation from Hebrew to English that got mixed up in his head... but I'm guessing it wasn't.
I have to say, that girl busting out in Hebrew was awesome, and that American butchering Hebrew was... horrible! Just speak in English if you're going to butcher the language man...
Anyhow, thanks for the post, and the video, and hopefully the marriage was Hashem's doing, not one of 'sensual curiosity'...
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Comment by Miriam Blackfirewhitefire on September 12, 2010 at 9:51pm -
**standing ovation!!!**
whoa! I"m scared of you! Good for u!!
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Comment by David Costa on September 12, 2010 at 6:16pm -
Shais, I think you're doing a great service and I hope you continue. Don't let anyone deter you in this. As for the guy in the video, I hope that he just misspoke, because it did sound as bad to me as it did to you. Hopefully Shoshanna will have a good marriage, HaShem willing.
David
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